How Teddy Roosevelt Teaches Us About Relationships

Teddy Roosevelt once said in his famous speech, "Citizenship in a Republic",

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

I used to think that he was referring to the realm of politics with this quote, because that's where I first heard it.  I used to envision two men, probably political candidates, entering a boxing ring; their fists up, ready to spar for the course of the campaign.  I was once one of those 'men' because I, too entered the ring of candidacy.  Unfortunately, the voting populous didn't think that I was the person for the job, and a few of my friends shared this quote with me.  I used it as a salve for my wounds and it helped me to realize that I had been brave to step into the ring, no matter what the outcome.

However, I got to thinking today that I could have been wrong about that assumption.  Let me explain why I think that I'm wrong.  I think that this not only could be applicable to the political world.  No, I think it refers to relationships that we find ourselves in; husband and wife, mother and son, friendships, etc.  The list goes on.

I think when Mr. Roosevelt refers to 'daring greatly', I imagine he's referring to vulnerability.  I think that to be open and to actually try to make relationships work, we do have to remove our masks and show ourselves as we are, no mater how difficult or painful it could be.  We all risk rejection everyday when we share our hearts with our loved ones.  For that reason alone, we can all agree that relationships are messy.

I know some of those who don't dare at all, and even though being open and vulnerable hurts sometimes, I imagine that not trying at all would cause an ache inside that's far worse.  If you aren't susceptible, you'll never know how good the relationship could have been.  So, I pray that you're not the critic; that no matter how bloody you get, that you're the one in the ring daring greatly.