Before the words above are dismissed, read them again. And again. And then one more time. I can't promise that you'll 'get them' right away, but when you do, you will have unlocked your life. Allow me to explain.
I read these words at a counselor's office and I fought hard against them. It was like I was being visually assaulted, quite honestly. At the time, I tried to shake off the words because I was uncomfortable on the inside. You know the saying that once you've seen something you can't unsee it? I couldn't unsee the words. Even though at the time I couldn't fathom putting them into practice, that's what I want to share with you now; my journey of applying those words to my life.
Five years later,,,yes, FIVE years, I was given a book by the same therapist with that then ridiculous sign in her waiting room called, The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene' Brown. I held onto this book for a while. Not five years, but almost a year. I started reading it and I just couldn't focus on it, so I put it down for a while. I came back to it and made a conscious decision to dive in, and boy, am I glad I did.
In this book, she explains what she calls "wholehearted living", and she outlines the 'how-to' in what she calls guideposts; ten of them in all. You've got to read this book to really appreciate the way it's written and the impact it can have on your life. Here are my takeaways, and I'm sharing them with you because it's just so darn exciting for me because I honestly didn't think that what I've experienced was possible for me.
I've always had a problem with perfectionism and trying to be what I thought everyone wanted me to be. I'm a people pleaser, okay? Self-proclaimed, even, meaning that I now own that part of me. Since reading the book, I now know that I CAN own ALL parts of my personality and coping mechanisms without shame. That, my friends, is some powerful elixir you can't find in a bottle or in a drug.
See, owning your story to me is the first step towards making meaningful changes in your life. You've got to own YOUR story, nobody else can do it for you. Let's don't forget that you can't own anyone else's story, either. They have to do that on their own, too. After you can own your story, you can really start to 'let go' of the things that you used to wish didn't exist in your life; habits and traits that you once loathed now sort of vanish, if you will, and your left with this feeling of actually loving yourself; your whole self, not just parts of it. Wholehearted living. Duh.
She talks about shame and how we should talk about our shame with someone that is worthy of hearing our shame stories. It's almost like confessing to someone and allowing them inside of your world just for a moment. This is something I was hesitant to do because as humans, we're messy. I was honestly worried if I let someone else into my world, they would want to welcome me into their world, and I wasn't sure that was something I could handle.
Now, I welcome it. I'm glad to have that kind of connection with someone. It was honestly something that I was missing out on. Being vulnerable can be scary, but also very freeing. The other HUGE thing that this book did was it really helped me to unlock my faith in Christ. It helped me to forgive myself and others, which is something that the Bible calls us to do. This book allows you to separate the behavior of a person from the person themselves which is also related to forgiving. This book works hand in hand with the Bible. It's just amazing.
So, back to that quote at the beginning of this blog/diary entry, about making a brand new ending. I can totally do that now, thanks to my therapist and the wonderful practice of wholehearted living. I find myself now wanting this idea of wholehearted living to really catch fire because it really unlocks your potential. I want everyone I know to get on the wholehearted living train. You'll be glad you did. Join me, won't you?
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