What's Love Got to do With it?

Today something hit me really hard between the eyes. I think it may have been love. Can love hit you between the eyes? I heard these words in my head, “Love is daring greatly”. I really believe that. When we open ourselves up to others in love, we are taking a chance. We are daring greatly.

For example, when we are dating someone and we feel the urge to say those three little words we all long to hear, sometimes we hold back. What’s the reason? What holds us back? I’ll tell you what holds us back; fear. Fear of rejection more specifically. However, when we do find the courage to muster up the words, it feels like time stands still a little bit. What's the reason? You’re waiting to hear them said to you in return usually. It doesn’t matter, though really what the other person says back to you because you dared greatly.

It says in 1 John 4:16-19, “God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in Him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgement, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.”

Perfect love drives out fear. What does that have to do with daring greatly? Everything, actually. What I am sure of is that God is perfect and His will for us is to abide in His perfect love. Therefore, if you're abiding in his love, then you should have nothing to fear. No matter the circumstances of the world around us. No matter the pain or heartache you may be experiencing. No matter if you have a job or not. No matter if you’re married or divorced or single.

Even though we aren’t perfect, his power is made perfect in our weakness. In 2 Corinthians 12:9 Jesus tells us, “...My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Now I get it when Apostle Paul says that, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

What if we made mistakes because we weren’t secure in who we were in God? What if we weren’t allowing the Holy Spirit to dwell in us because we were filled with fear and other things that made it impossible for the Spirit to reside and dwell and flow through you? What if we trusted God completely and totally and humbly through EVERYTHING? How much better off would we be? What if we tried compassion? What if we tried to see things from other’s point of view?

I've written about this several times on the Jesus blog as I'm calling it. I could write about love every day for the rest of my life and I could write something different about it every time. Most important thing to note or write, though, is that God is love. That's the truth. Not some cheesy, hackneyed phrase, either. You can take that to the bank.

Unlock Your Faith and Your Potential With Wholehearted Living

"You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending."-C. S. Lewis  

Before the words above are dismissed, read them again.  And again.  And then one more time.  I can't promise that you'll 'get them' right away, but when you do, you will have unlocked your life.  Allow me to explain.

I read these words at a counselor's office and I fought hard against them.  It was like I was being visually assaulted, quite honestly.  At the time, I tried to shake off the words because I was uncomfortable on the inside.  You know the saying that once you've seen something you can't unsee it?  I couldn't unsee the words.  Even though at the time I couldn't fathom putting them into practice, that's what I want to share with you now; my journey of applying those words to my life.

Five years later,,,yes, FIVE years, I was given a book by the same therapist with that then ridiculous sign in her waiting room called, The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene' Brown.  I held onto this book for a while.  Not five years, but almost a year.  I started reading it and I just couldn't focus on it, so I put it down for a while.  I came back to it and made a conscious decision to dive in, and boy, am I glad I did.

In this book, she explains what she calls "wholehearted living", and she outlines the 'how-to' in what she calls guideposts; ten of them in all.  You've got to read this book to really appreciate the way it's written and the impact it can have on your life.  Here are my takeaways, and I'm sharing them with you because it's just so darn exciting for me because I honestly didn't think that what I've experienced was possible for me.

I've always had a problem with perfectionism and trying to be what I thought everyone wanted me to be.  I'm a people pleaser, okay?  Self-proclaimed, even, meaning that I now own that part of me.  Since reading the book, I now know that I CAN own ALL parts of my personality and coping mechanisms without shame.  That, my friends, is some powerful elixir you can't find in a bottle or in a drug.

See, owning your story to me is the first step towards making meaningful changes in your life.  You've got to own YOUR story, nobody else can do it for you.  Let's don't forget that you can't own anyone else's story, either.  They have to do that on their own, too.  After you can own your story, you can really start to 'let go' of the things that you used to wish didn't exist in your life; habits and traits that you once loathed now sort of vanish, if you will, and your left with this feeling of actually loving yourself; your whole self, not just parts of it.  Wholehearted living.  Duh.

She talks about shame and how we should talk about our shame with someone that is worthy of hearing our shame stories.  It's almost like confessing to someone and allowing them inside of your world just for a moment.  This is something I was hesitant to do because as humans, we're messy.  I was honestly worried if I let someone else into my world, they would want to welcome me into their world, and I wasn't sure that was something I could handle.

Now, I welcome it.  I'm glad to have that kind of connection with someone.  It was honestly something that I was missing out on.  Being vulnerable can be scary, but also very freeing.  The other HUGE thing that this book did was it really helped me to unlock my faith in Christ.  It helped me to forgive myself  and others, which is something that the Bible calls us to do.  This book allows you to separate the behavior of a person from the person themselves which is also related to forgiving.  This book works hand in hand with the Bible.  It's just amazing.

So, back to that quote at the beginning of this blog/diary entry, about making a brand new ending.  I can totally do that now, thanks to my therapist and the wonderful practice of wholehearted living.  I find myself now wanting this idea of wholehearted living to really catch fire because it really unlocks your potential.  I want everyone I know to get on the wholehearted living train.  You'll be glad you did.  Join me, won't you?

Gender Reassingment and Parental Rights

What would you say is a parent's worst nightmare?  Probably having to bury their child, whether the child is grown or passed away in utero.  It's a devastating prospect, no?  I can think of something almost as horrific; losing the right to be involved in life changing decisions made by said child.   

Think of it.  You're a good parent by your own estimation, and I think a lot of us are.  You don't starve your kids, you make sure they have clean clothes and hot food on the table.  You also offer a stable routine and emotional support when it's needed.  You don't beat them or deprive them of the essentials, so, yeah; good.

So imagine your surprise when you find out that your child is planning, or in some cases, has already gone through gender reassignment surgery.  Without your consent or knowledge.  It's happening, people.  School counselors and officials will often encourage the child's so called gender dysphoria and if that wasn't bad enough, they refuse to tell the parents about their child's desire to now be referred to by the opposite gender pronoun to which they were assigned at birth.  Say what?!?

I have been a parental rights advocate for some time now, and I get a filtered report of all things parental rights; those that happen in the United States and those abroad.  Sadly, America is not the bastion of freedom it once was and the comparison of what happens in other countries is not too different to what happens to parents here on our own turf.  So, today when I opened my notifications, I saw an article that caught my eye, "Gender transitions for kids easier than tonsillectomies: What about parental rights?"

In the article it describes several cases just as the one(s) I cited above.  Some of the schools got their directives from none other than the Obama administration via a letter which encouraged school districts to affirm transgender students.  However, the Obama administration wasn't and isn't the only force behind those affirmations.  The LGBT Human Rights campaign and their activists teamed up with the National Education Agency to step in and provide guidelines for those students who showed signs of gender dysphoria.  All without involving the parents.

The article also mentions that sometimes children make claims like this is because sometimes they feel pressured to do so; maybe because lots of friends did and they want to be part of the trend.  Life changing decisions are being made on a whim.  Yikes.

Obviously, this is a huge intrusion into our rights as parents.  How do we prevent things like this from happening?  I'd like to think that it starts with us, the parent.  Be involved in your child's school if you can.  Talk to counselors and administrators to show them you're an involved parent.  And above all else, pray for your child.  We can all agree that we need us some Jesus now and always.

How Teddy Roosevelt Teaches Us About Relationships

Teddy Roosevelt once said in his famous speech, "Citizenship in a Republic",

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

I used to think that he was referring to the realm of politics with this quote, because that's where I first heard it.  I used to envision two men, probably political candidates, entering a boxing ring; their fists up, ready to spar for the course of the campaign.  I was once one of those 'men' because I, too entered the ring of candidacy.  Unfortunately, the voting populous didn't think that I was the person for the job, and a few of my friends shared this quote with me.  I used it as a salve for my wounds and it helped me to realize that I had been brave to step into the ring, no matter what the outcome.

However, I got to thinking today that I could have been wrong about that assumption.  Let me explain why I think that I'm wrong.  I think that this not only could be applicable to the political world.  No, I think it refers to relationships that we find ourselves in; husband and wife, mother and son, friendships, etc.  The list goes on.

I think when Mr. Roosevelt refers to 'daring greatly', I imagine he's referring to vulnerability.  I think that to be open and to actually try to make relationships work, we do have to remove our masks and show ourselves as we are, no mater how difficult or painful it could be.  We all risk rejection everyday when we share our hearts with our loved ones.  For that reason alone, we can all agree that relationships are messy.

I know some of those who don't dare at all, and even though being open and vulnerable hurts sometimes, I imagine that not trying at all would cause an ache inside that's far worse.  If you aren't susceptible, you'll never know how good the relationship could have been.  So, I pray that you're not the critic; that no matter how bloody you get, that you're the one in the ring daring greatly.

There Is Power in Surrender

 What do these three photos have in common? Arms extended, maybe eyes closed.  To me, these pictures depict a form of surrender.  That feeling that comes when you lay down your worries or problems at the feet of God.  Surrender is a wonderful place to be.  That means that your trust in the Lord is in full effect and nothing anyone says to you or does to you can hurt you.  Surrender is not a lack of care, don't misunderstand. 





The word surrender as defined by Merriam Webster is this: the action of

yielding one's person or giving up the possession of something especially into the power of another.  Hopefully, for you, that power is Jesus.  There is a scripture verse that has become one of my favorites and I think it describes how wonderfully blessed we are as Christians to be able to have such an amazing relationship with the one true God.  It's found in Hebrews 4:14-16 and it says,

"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.  For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-yet was without sin.  Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

This one scripture verse sums up the relationship between God and man.  Because God sent his only son wrapped in flesh, he is able to sympathize with our weaknesses.  I also love the fact that it reminds us that Jesus was tempted in every way, BUT WAS WITHOUT SIN.  You could use these words as something to solidify your faith in Jesus, knowing how concrete and steadfast He is; how perfect He is.  I know I do.  

One other thing that brings me peace is when it says. "let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence..."  because it reminds me that God is on my side.  I hope that this has helped remind you of the power of surrender, even though it's actually a very vulnerable place to be, too.  Wrapped in the arms of a loving Savior, surrender is strength.  Put your faith and trust in Jesus, my friend.  You can't go wrong.

Consider It Pure Joy

The eyes of a child on Christmas morning as they gaze on the loot under their tree.  A newborn baby, swaddled in a blanket while sleeping peacefully.  A new bride as she gazes into her new husband's face while they share their first dance.  What do these things have in common?  All of them could be considered pure joy.

If you notice the title, the Bible verse referenced here has something different in mind.  This scripture is found in the book of James1:2-4 and it tells us that we should, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Doesn't exactly give you the warm fuzzies, does it?  Nobody said that being obedient to God was easy, but that's what we're called to do.  Facing trials is part of life, and just when it seems you have climbed out of one valley, you descend into another one.  That's when the testing comes, my friends.  That's why it's called a 'sacrifice of praise', because it DOES take effort to praise the Lord when you're not feeling quite like doing so.

The good news is that we serve a loving and merciful God who, "...does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities." Psalm 103:10  So, whatever trial you may be facing today, remember that, "Because of  the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."  While you're at it, consider it pure joy.

No, Illinois, Abortion is Not Healthcare

Abortion is not healthcare.  Say it with me, abortion is not healthcare.  Abortion will never be healthcare.  Ever.

It should not come as a surprise to you, though, that the Illinois state legislature would disagree on that point, as it has passed The Reproductive Health Act.  This law, provides greater access to pregnancy care, contraception, abortion procedures and other related benefits for all people and all genders.

Democratic lawmakers aren't satisfied, and they won't be until their efforts to repeal the Illinois Parental Notification of Abortion Act that was signed into law in 1995.  This particular law requires that when a girl under the age of 18 desires an abortion that her guardian(s) be notified two days before the procedure takes place.

The issue of abortion as healthcare is a moral issue because as Christians, we are called by the Bible to choose life.  The most basic of commands is in fact the sixth commandment, "Thou shalt not kill."   If you look in the book of Deuteronomy, you'll find another life affirming quote, "This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses.  Now, choose life, so that you and your children may live."-Deuteronomy 30:19  Yet another scripture that we're all too familiar with is the one about being knit together in your mother's womb, Psalm 139:"For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb."   All of these scriptures point to a God who is life affirming, and he calls those who follow him to be like Him.

The issue of abortion as healthcare in the context of this law is also a parental rights issue.  This law, as it is written would violate parental rights of the parents of these teens in crisis.  Parental rights are not something to be toyed with.  So many times in recent history they've been undermined by various circuit courts and CPS case workers and the like.  Fortunately, there is a group focused on protecting parental rights called, you guessed it, Parental Rights.org.  Their mission is to protect parental rights through an amendment to the United States Constitution.  They also believe that parental rights are fundamental.  From their website,  

"Parents play an irreplaceable role in the lives of their children. This vital relationship positively impacts a child's physical, mental, and emotional well-being. The right of parents to maintain a strong involvement in their children's lives has been continually upheld by Supreme Court doctrine. It is deeply valued by millions of American families" 

The issue of abortion as healthcare is also a fiscal issue in the eyes of the secretary of  Health and Human Services, Alex Azar.  He made a statement recently in regards to the Trump administration's effort to prevent groups receiving federal funds, under the Title X from using funds to 'perform, promote, refer to, or support abortion as a method of family planning.'   "Congress has said that you cannot support abortion as a method of family planning.  We're just finally enforcing it."  

So, you see, as so many other legislative efforts that have been put forth by so many other state houses and even Congress, this law will most assuredly end up in the court system to be determined by a judge.  However, we as citizens and Christians must remain vigilant and remember, "The enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full."  And all of God's children say, "Amen!"