Ladies, Have Sex With Your Husbands

Ladies, this post is for you.  I know that this may be a little bit forward of me, but I feel that it's necessary to post.  

Have sex with your husbands.  

Yep, there it is.  Now, you may be reeling from that a little bit, but the man in your life wants to have sex with...YOU.  Men need sex to feel connected to their wife.  They need physical touch and affirmation from you.  Did you know that God created sex for our pleasure? Sex is not dirty or wrong or bad; it's meant to be had within the confines of a marriage.

Plenty has been done by the enemy to pervert the act of sex.  Matter of fact, every good and perfect thing that God created, Satan has perverted.  Drugs are meant for healing our bodies, but people 'abuse' drugs, thereby perverting the goodness of the medicine in which God intended it for.  Same with sex.  Sex was meant to be enjoyed by a man and a woman within the confines of a marriage.  Not to be perverted by sleeping with someone you're not married to or sleeping with your neighbor's spouse.  Or to watch pornography instead of laying with your spouse.  That was never God's design for us.

God's design was that a man would leave his mother and father and that the two shall become one flesh.  That's right.  Penis inserted into vagina type of one flesh.  There are other ways to become one flesh, but this is a post about sex, so, I went there first.  It also says in the Bible that we shouldn't deny each other access to our bodies.  So, ladies, none of this, I'm too tired or I have a headache.  Guys, you either.  This physical connection that your husband desires is critical to the health of your marriage.  You can't have a healthy marriage without it!  

Now, conversely, the marriage CANNOT be all about sex!  This is for the guys, now; your wife craves emotional satisfaction and emotional security.  If you can't give that to her, then she is less likely to give herself to you.  As my therapist used to say, "if you want good loving at night, you better start in the morning."  Ladies are most like a crockpot, guys.  We need to be warmed up throughout the day.  Foreplay is more than just a physical act because women are cerebral.  Again, back to the emotional security and satisfaction.  Give her a kiss good morning and tell her she's beautiful even if she has morning breath.  (Or whatever it is that works for you) That's sure to start things off on the right foot.

Ladies, accept the compliment!  Don't dismiss it by saying, (or thinking) "My hair is a mess and my breath is awful!  How can I be beautiful?!?"  Now, it's your turn to reciprocate.  Tell him something equally kind or maybe amp it up and say something a little bit suggestive.  He will be intrigued, I assure you.  Keep the flirtation up throughout the day.  Do it for each other, not just so one of you will feel gratified because it's about both of your physical and emotional satisfaction.

Ladies, TELL YOUR HUSBAND WHAT YOU LIKE!  It may be hard or awkward, but men by and large want to please you!  I mean, if you're faking your way through it and would like to reach a real, actual pinnacle, you've got to speak up!  If he asks you to do something you're not comfortable doing, speak up about that, too.  Be gentle with any criticisms, though, and don't do it while you're in the middle of the act.  Find time to set aside to discuss this topic when you're relaxed or maybe have had a few drinks to take the edge off.  Sometimes that's necessary and perfectly fine, by the way.  

One more for the ladies and then I'll stop picking on you; your man loves you just the way you are, stretch marks and all.  Do you have breasts?  Yep.  Do you have an ass?  Yep.  Do you have a vagina?  Yep.  Looks like you're all set to go!  Do you have the perfect body?  Nope.  Do you have beautifully perky breasts?  Nope.  Do you have a tight, perky ass?  Nope.  That's OKAY!  Your man loves you just the way you are, so stop second guessing yourself and insisting that the lights are always off.  Surprise him and leave the lights on!  Wear something sexy to bed!  He loves the way you look!  And if he doesn't, he's a selfish asshole and he might need to do a little soul searching of his own.

Guys, make sure that your wife knows that she is the star of the show.  Period.  DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT try to incorporate pornography into the bedroom.  It should always be about your wife.  Caress her and stroke her hair and tell her you love her and that she's beautiful.  That stuff works!  It may seem cheesy, but if you are in the habit of doing that outside the bedroom and she enjoys it, then incorporate it in the bedroom.  It's called 'making love' for a reason, ya know.

Look, I realize that every situation and every couple is different.  These are simply suggestions and I'm not a licensed therapist.  A lot of the stuff I'm putting down here is stuff that would have helped me with my marriage, honestly.  Also some of the things I'm saying NOT to do is some of what transpired over the course of my marriage that hindered us from having a healthy sex life.  These posts are very personal and I hope you'll appreciate that I'm coming from a genuine place of concern for the well being of the covenant of marriage, because y'all need you some Jesus and probably some sex, too!